When you have a baby everyone wants to give you advice. From your mum, mother-in-law and midwife, to your best friend, neighbour and hairdresser.
Much of the advice is unwarranted and goes in one ear and out the other. And so it should.
I’ve been a mother for almost 8 weeks now and I can tell you now that I’m clueless but I’m having fun figuring it all out. It certainly feels like much longer but that’s what happens when the days stretch into nights and just because you’ve put him down to sleep at 7pm doesn’t mean your motherly duties are over until 7am the next morning. Ok so for those mummies who’ve managed to get their babies to sleep all night, well done to you, give yourself a pat on the back. Now for the rest of us, it’s going to be a long night till the morning wake up call and could mean waking up to feed at 11pm, 2am and 5am or snack as Jack likes to do occasionally.
The other night I tried to give Jack his usual dream feed around 10pm and failed completely. Half an hour of trying to shove my nipple in his mouth with no success. He just didn’t feel like eating. So I put him back down in his bassinet and hoped that he’d sleep for more than an hour. He’s got his stubborn streak from me.
Two hours later he was calling out for food. He ate for less than five minutes and fell asleep again. He did so again three hours later. Grrr. When will my darling sleep through the night?
I was going to pass up the dream feed last night but he woke up and demanded one himself. We were out with him sleeping in his pram and by the time we got home, it was two hours after he had eaten and he was wide awake. I fed him again and he slept for four hours and then three. I thanked him in the morning.
I’m a routine kind of gal and when I get told to feed on demand and just do what my baby wants I can’t help but smile and roll my eyes. I like to know what to expect and having Jack on a routine throughout the day at least between the hours of 7am and 7pm I can focus on getting things done, working on side projects and ensuring that Jack, J and I are one happy family. At night, anything goes.
Since coming home from hospital we’ve been following a routine that’s a mixture of Tizzie Hall’s Save Our Sleep book and my midwife’s. They’re very similar using an Eat, Play, Sleep routine that started as a 3 hour routine and now we’ve moved to a 4 hour routine. It’s working, slowly.
Jack and I are doing it our way. We’ve been getting to know each other over the past two months, talking with friends who have kids, reading books, forums and having strangers comment and offer advice. We’ve both still much to learn and I think we’re going to learn all our lives. The important thing is that we’re finding what works for us as a family and that’s the most important thing to do. Every baby is different. While I believe that babies and parents thrive on routines, I believe you have to find one or develop one that works for you and your family.
Do it your way and enjoy every moment.
